放心 我很好

曾几何时 我开始用英文来抒发我的心情 (就在这个我的中文退不了英文没有变很好的阶段)
这篇写得有点频密 我这次是真的想写 推特的程度已经不足以让我说我想说的

说实在的出国这件事情 到现在我都是特别特别感恩的 也这样我得到很多 失去也很多
我真的明白距离真的是一回事 科技发达真的不足以弥补距离惹的祸
可能我活的太大安旨意了吧 以为现在拥有的会一直拥有着 其实并不会 我这两天还真的有点灰
唉 都词不达意了都 我以为会一直好下去的人 不再好了 我惊见这些变化来得太突然
可能就是我看的少 我相信这一切的发生总会有原因 我也相信且支持全部决定

这TMD都别人的事 我在过不去什么实在是 可能就是我不想要我很爱的人不开心
我也不晓得我是太惜情还是太天真 我曾想象过要是哪一天他们要真的结婚
婚礼上的人肯定觉得我就是个前女友还是姐姐什么的 我觉得自己真的会哭成狗啊
好这一切都只是幻想 可我仍然希望这些会发生

我曾觉得很适合的两个人 原来他们之间也有隔阂有矛盾有距离 都怪我看的太容易了
一心希望他们幸福 就认为我身边的人就必须幸福快乐开心 结果他们伤心我不知道
两个这么好的人 怎么就变成这样了呢 有时候真的觉得要是我在他们身边多好啊
就是我爸爸妈妈弟弟一样 要是我一直在他们身边多好 可我父母也希望我能够有更好的生活
我想要他们开心 想要他们以后幸福 现在我就不想这么多 就做我该做的 希望我以后不会怪自己想得不够多

真的希望我很宝贝的两个人能够开心 能够依然相信爱情 相信会有适合的人
永远都相信你们可以好好的 永远都相信你们是最好的



放心 我很好




我有时候会觉得你会看我的部落格 嗯你也要幸福 

Believe

Been busy, trying to get on track but never try hard enough. Not in the feel of  wanting to release some of my negativity to my blog, not in the mood of writing shit or maybe I am. 

Update of my life, nothing pretty much changes since last post, (technically I am writing this as a future reference of mine, could be kinda a tracker to see what I was doing), I, yes still having the same three jobs, which I will never forget, I suppose because they are just too special, the first job in my life and the job I stay for more than a year (not surprise but still, definitely because I've got a good boss), the first full time job of mine, and the job that the past me will never thought I will ever encounter, engage and loving it. 

Christmas and New year are both special this year cause mum visited, I never really express how happy I am when mum come but I am, I spent a lot of time with her, shopping eating casino-ing and more, in which, purely superb. 

Me sitting here 12/01/2018 (11:15pm) the minute I am writing this sentence, finally got a break from work and sitting down to do something I used to love to do. Still make me happy, dedicate some time writing stuff that I would laugh at in the future is definitely worth it, believe me. I would be glad that I did update my blog, I mean a little bit. But technically this paragraph is redundant tbh. 

I sometimes hate realization cause some of them hurt, a lot. Wasn't saying that I am blaming someone, but, a best friend of mine (not sure if I am still the best friend), like completely forgot about my birthday, not even a message after 9 days, I tbh forgot his too, but I wished the next day. Nyah, not blaming him, we are all busy now, and what can I blame on, distance, time, life, age, which separated us further and further. (Can't be bother checking my grammar, future me please critics on my grammar, it's okay). Ofc, wishing everyone I know is good and happy, sincerely. 

Work life sucks, working something that is not my preference is worse, working just for money in some sense, the worst. Well, I am still doing it which means it hasn't hit my limit yet, but not far. It is always good to know more people and having friends, but wasn't the age that can take everyone as friend anymore, I can barely get close friends now, purely because it take ages for me to build trust, in which, in some case, I never will. God bless me, please let my best friends stay in my life and that's all that matters. 

Okay, I assume I have enough bullshits here, future me, please be happy, smile when you finish this post, thanks yourself who wrote all these at the regular bed time of yours. Everything will be fine, I highly believe that. Believe in yourself. 

To many more years of love.

TBH, I usually like to start my sentence with tbh.
Okay back to what I wanted to share at the first place.
After many months with no English writing required, I can feel how rusty my English writing is right after I finished whatever I have just wrote.
I know I am at the stage where my English get nothing better but at the same time Chinese becomes more shitty. I don't know how I get myself to this point, I just did yeah.

Okay I am out of track again. COME BACK.
TBH, I realize something all of sudden today, I guess people, I mean me at least realize thoughts just in a blink of an eye. I just realized that I might not living in this house in maybe let's say three years, there might be many changes that I couldn't foresee atm, but eventually there will be.
I know I am the individual who hate things to change, I want everything in my life stay as it always will be, in which, impossible.

Too many realization and that is a little unbearable, maybe it is just me that refuse to even thought about it. Too many feelings and too little skills to let those out in words, what a shame.

I know how much I hate when someone need to leave me or I will be leaving for some good reasons. Too late but never too late to realize that people come and go, there is so many changes after high school, that freakin good old times.
In high school, yes, knowledge need to be learnt gets harder every year, but people stays the same, even if people are leaving, majority folks around you never really change massively, and that is what I really care about at the end of the day.
I know how picky I am in getting to know friends but at the same times, I know how much I love them when I stay around them.

Times is kind of like the third wheel between me and all the memories that I treasure as hard as I could, despite my hard work, it fades, it fades every single freakin time when I try to think about it. Yet, all I know is that the feelings are always there.

Thank you people who stay in my life, also, I know I need to learn how to say a good good bye to people who left or will be leaving. Of course, I always know family will always stay. Letting go never easy, I always know I will eventually did it and I actually did. Hello, and Good-Bye. To many more years of family love, friend love, and partner for life.

谢谢你部落格

不知不觉这个部落格也快写了7年了 很怂的讲一句 这里记录了很多我的心情

以前的我很喜欢写部落格 不是因为什么 只不过我觉得 部落格是个很好抒发的地方
长大了 不是时间少了  也不是不喜欢部落格了 只不过 渐渐的不善于抒发
以前说没有部落格不知道会怎么样的我
现在的我想要告诉你 要珍惜现在 不见了的东西有时候真的再也找不回

谢谢你部落格 接下来的日子 依然 多多指教

2017

2017, it's been four years since I came to Australia. Coming to Australia wasn't my decision at that time, however, I am very grateful that I technically made the decision (kind of, it was my parents' decision btw). Being able to stay in Australia is always unbelievable, I wouldn't even thought of owning a car before, and now I know it will be hard for me if I don't travel with car. I have been talking about this couples times, I was a, I guess, dependent person I suppose, or maybe my parents were over-protective solely because of my gender. I never ever get to catch public transport on my own in Malaysia (even now tbh). Australia is a place where I earn and learn. I thought I was independent enough, and apparently I was not, I still not but better I suppose. Australia is another stage of mine after high school, and University that is. Yes, after four years, I finished university. Despite of the hard time throughout the four-year course, it was one of the best memories. The high school me will never ever thought that I would be able to come to Australia and finish a degree here. That is purely unbelievable, even now I feel so. Coming to Australia wasn't my decision because I understand my parents' financial situation but they insist to send me to overseas. Their decision, persistent efforts, unlimited supports are all invaluable, and those were and are inspiring. Those are the reason why I never think of giving up. I couldn't thank enough but thank you is the only thing i can say for now. 2017, 5th year and now it is another stage. 

很脑粉的一篇文

我的脑袋是转盘 转到什么写什么
其实我真的没有什么东西好些的
相信我 我真的是很懒惰做些别的东西 所以才来blog一下

很无聊 就来说说王嘉尔 看看我以后看回我这段当脑粉的过程是有多脑
王嘉尔嘛 google就可以找到的嘛
Got7的说唱担当（他自己在节目上说的) 粉丝团叫鸟宝宝 嘉嘉自己的粉丝团叫Jacky
前香港剑击国家代表 17岁的时候在准备伦敦奥运会的时候 脑袋短路去了韩国当练习生
2014年1月16日一JYP新男子组合Got 7 出道 三年的禁爱令开始 （现在结束了，嘉尔 等姐姐）
1994年3月28生日 还没有23岁 竟然比我小 什么东西 没关系 姐姐不介意姐弟恋
富二代 爸爸是香港剑击教练 妈妈前奥运体操铜牌 公公是终生教授 这是多好的基因啊
以后我和他的孩子肯定也很聪明
很注重健康  很爱运动 很爱家人
有时候觉得这麽一个男生 家室好 有人气 长得这么帅不说 虽然不高 可是颜值真的报表
依然可以这麽亲民 这麽热血 这麽爱粉丝(典型脑残粉会说的话) 这麽真 这麽贴心
他因为知道Instagram的post会很多不同国籍的人看 他把他会的语言都写一遍 所以他po的文通常都长长的 如果今天他在韩国 po的文就是韩文开始 然后是英文然后中文 如果他在华人的地方 会是中文开始 然后别的语言 这麽贴心的 让粉丝怎么能够不爱他
绝对没有要吐槽的意思 可是 很多会多国语言的艺人 也不会常常po不同语言的文
我们家嘎嘎真贴心啊
王嘉尔真的很有梦想 很热血 他说过 他要粉丝因为身为鸟宝宝 身为Jacky而感到骄傲
怎么有人这么会说话 这麽会啊
虽然有时候他真的笨笨的 也不知道是真笨还是假笨 哈哈
可是都很可爱 白目的时候更可爱 哈哈 说一些乱七八糟的港普 不是简单的好笑
会粤语的听得出来 可是不会粤语的真的会被嘎嘎的中文天分弄垮
Oh Boy 我真的很喜欢他说广东话的时候 我原本就很喜欢香港人的粤语口音
可是王嘎嘎说广东话的时候真的超级迷人 说英文是更加的好听！
这麽有天分的人 怎么还不大红大紫！
粉丝永远支持你！王嘉尔

写了这么一堆 真的是想到什么写什么 没有编排 完全没有

王嘉尔 王嘎嘎 王嘉嘉 王puppy Wild & Sexy Sassy

“彪悍的人生 还需要我和你解释吗？” 没有 其实不彪悍

这种感觉不知道是什么感觉其实 很新鲜也很陌生
跟上一次的考完试 上完课 比起来 这一次
没有轰轰烈烈
没有刻骨铭心
但是 或多或少会有点不舍得 不舍得 那个地方 那些人
当然没有中学的来的多 也没有中学来得深厚
可是 四年不长不短 那些感情 也很值得怀念
又到了那个让我再一次体会 那些理所当然见面的机会不再有

其实到现在我还是会觉得 我不属于这个地方
可是 也觉得 我真的不想离开这个地方了
这个原本完全陌生的国家种族环境语言文化 现在却变得这么的理所当然
不想要让自己茫然 该是时候开始做我该做的了

最近常常觉得这个年纪 真想要有个男生在身边分享喜怒哀乐
彪悍的青春 再不疯狂 就老了
浪费了的青春 必须
让我接下来的生活填补那些遗憾
让一个对的人让我的青春里的爱情值回票价
彪悍的人生 不需要解释 不需要压抑自己的天性
这个年纪 必须要有 青春珍贵 的觉悟

未来男朋友 不要迷路了 我在这里等你等的花儿也谢了
要求不高 最好是个angmo 哈哈哈！

TMD我的脑袋真的是转盘 转到什么写什么
没有谁对谁错 那就是青春