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Tuesday, April 5, 2016

La la la.........

You know, sometimes I feel that Imma retarded in a way that "HOW AND WHY the hell am I doing this thing over and over again. 
Lemme think about it, Hmm. Yes, retarded. 

But at the end of the day, I am the one who wanna to do that stuffs you know. 
How many people have been telling me to let it go or anything like this. 
I have no idea why it never works since then and I am still waiting.
All I know is that, a bad thing, I don't even know what I am waiting for. 
I don't know how to actually defines what I really want, there are no absolute answer. 
Like a legit answer.

You know what, I wouldn't say the wait isn't worth, cause I am still waiting ATM.
I wouldn't too in the future, I assumed so. 

But I am really really really disappointed on myself. LOL. Haha. 

Take it easy. La la la.........

Monday, April 4, 2016

Serious shit, I LOVE YOU!

I do sometimes overthinking. I know my grammar sucks but Imma don't care. 
Feels like this is what I can actually used express a better me atm. 
Tbh, I sometimes have no where to actually release all my stresses. I prefer talking. 
It is just so hard to talk to people that I know here, I am such a "happy go lucky" girl to them. 
They do think I am optimistic, yeah of course, i never show my true self you know. 
I laugh all the time, I am easy going, I am just literally a nice and patient person. 
But I am not all the time, I really wouldn't say I am a nice person but neither rude. 

End up this is the best place that i can actually type and share shit that no one care. 
Or perhaps I would say I don't want to waste people's time to listen to all my shit that is not a super big deal. 
Or maybe it is just me that not willing to actually let them out. 
I wouldn't say escape, i would say that's one of my coping strategy, nah bullshit, I am escaping it. 

I am so sensitive in a way that I pick up small little cues that doesn't really standout, in the family or friends or whatever really. 
It is just me that is not confidence enough i suppose. 
People asked me all the time, you are not out-going at all. 
Yeh right, that is what they think I am and I am actually a fucking introvert here. 
Like literally introvert. I don't like parties, joining friends for lunch, celebrating special days with them. 
I never like it here. I have no idea why, it is simply just not my comfort zone. 

Being part of this society, I am not fully understand what are they. But end up, I feels like you know, who cares, in the end I am who I am. Take it easy Kit, everything will be fine. 

They are random shit, but you know at this moment, perhaps this year, everything that going on in my head will be complicated AF. When your doing dissertation and other coursework units, this is what will definitely happen guys. 

To the one I care really, 
Serious shit, I LOVE YOU!